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Holiday Hallmark Review: Three Wiser Men and a Boy (2024)
Keywords
Hallmark movies, Three Wiser Men and a Boy, holiday cheer, movie review, family dynamics, character analysis, Christmas traditions, film critique
Summary
In this episode, Nick and Leslie review the Hallmark movie 'Three Wiser Men and a Boy.' They discuss the plot, character dynamics, and the overall execution of the film. The conversation highlights the lack of engaging content, the chemistry between characters, and the portrayal of family dynamics during the holiday season. They provide a critical analysis of the movie's themes and conclude with their ratings, ultimately suggesting that viewers might want to skip this particular film.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (00:00.276)
Nick and Leslie, Nick and Leslie, talking holiday cheer Hallmark movies, cozy nights, and a festive review today Hey, grab a seat and a sweet treat, cozy up push play Movie cheers, what you'll hear this Hallmark movie day Okay, we're recording. We're recording? Yeah. I'm still sick, Leslie. Well, what's new? What movie did we watch?
Three Wiser Men and a Baby. It was until like 20 minutes and I realized this was a sequel to something we did not watch. Did you confirm that? Yes. okay. What was No, sorry. The original was called Three Wiser Men and a Baby. We watched Three Wiser Men and a Boy.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (00:50.134)
Okay. Let's play the trailer. Yeah.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (01:03.118)
Let's get all the guys back together under one roof. A gift for Mom. Ma! Ma! The brothers are back. Hi, Dad. This is about Thomas. This is the last time we had this much fun. And it's time to separate. Hey! The men from The Boys. It's the time to shine.
And Christmas was saved three wiser men and a boy only on Hallmark Channel
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (01:32.462)
So Three Wiser Men and a Baby, from what I understand, came out two years ago. And this movie, two years later, the baby is now in kindergarten, or K through five. So... Aging very fast, this child. That seems like more, like, the plot should focus on this child that is aging at double the rate.
Interesting, interesting. Yeah. Well, first of all, that maybe would have been the one interesting thing in the whole plot because this was not the Christmas show for this girl. It's disappointed. took us what felt like three days to finish watching the movie. It's like it wasn't for us. It wasn't our cup of tea. I thought the banter from the three brothers was well written and I thought they acted it out pretty well.
But that's still not enough to carry an entire plot of a movie. No, I had high hopes for whenever one of the love interests was there. And I was like, she looks nice. I didn't mean looks nice. I meant like what looks nice to the plot, like she could add some pizzazz. Talking about the pianist? The pianist. And that was not the case at all. So our brothers are Luke.
Stefan. Is it Stefan or Stefan? Stefan. Okay. Luke, Stefan, and Taylor. Now, Luke is the firefighter who has the child. Yes. And so like, just based on the premise, I'm like, okay, dead mom's going to be involved. We thought it was a dead mom for a moment, Because like, why would these three brothers need to raise this one kid?
And they're not, they just happen to all be in town together. Right, yes. And the mom is like, gone. On a work trip. They didn't like kiss when she left. No they didn't, I thought that was weird, but I think that might be because it's a...
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (03:30.83)
G. PG rated. You're only allowed one kiss for a movie. Then it becomes PG. Yeah, it's like how many, you know, fucks before it's a rated R. That's true. Yeah. I know PG-13 you get one. Yeah. So as far as super getting early. We can't even. I gave Luke and his nonexistent spouse a one on the chemistry-o-meter because. But they were already married.
Well, you can still have chemistry after being married. Right. Okay. All right. And then we've got Stefan and Suzy, his girlfriend that she keeps thinking he's going to propose to her, but he's just really into this book he wrote.
He's trying to change how people perceive him as like the dog whisperer so he's trying to do a change and forgetting that he has a girl My guess is that was a plot point in the first movie that he was a dog whisperer because I'm like this seems very convoluted very convoluted
And so I gave him a two for a chemistry-o-meter, and Susie. I don't know what she sees in him. I don't know what he sees in her. She's not a fully fleshed out character. No, but she's apparently doing all the costume designing.
for the play that they have to take over. Yeah. Next brother. And now we've got Taylor and Carol. We believe her name was Carol, yes. Carol was the pianist. Volunteer school pianist. Who just does nothing all day. Nothing all day. She was very sassy and snarky. Yes, I... And kept mouth fucking that candy cane. It was interesting, amount...
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (05:24.257)
that she was sucking on that candy cane. She's like, it's my personal character choice is that I have an oral fixation. Yes, but I think hers was still wrapped in plastic the entire time when Taylor's was clearly not and you could see the colors on his teeth, on his lips, on his tongue. was disturbing to me and I don't know why.
But Taylor was the best part of the movie. He was funny. I gave them a six for the cast. actor, whatever his name is, if we want to be official, I guess I should learn their names. But Roy, not Roy, Taylor. People don't tune in for their homework. They tune in because we're usually.
High, drunk, sick, just confused. Right. So Taylor is clearly that I don't want to say like, that young annoying sibling. Because I guess, you know, I'm that young annoying sibling, but I don't talk to mine to be annoying, I guess. So just that young annoying brother sibling, since these are three brothers, he is just has energy that understandably we know why he's single. So it was a lot.
but it was funny. He did a good job. But it's still not a Nazi. I really liked... I just double negative. I really liked in the beginning where he's like going around a WeWork office or something with like... it was clearly a Starbucks, like a fake Starbucks, a coffee shop. With a guitar case. And we're like, why did that barista just give him a crappy look? And it comes to find out. my God, I didn't even realize that.
I said that to you whenever because you made a kind of like she gave a nasty look and I'm like, and then later during the zoom Whenever because this man is carrying around a briefcase a guitar and we're like, why is he carrying this guitar? He's it brought anything up and it looked very light. It very he was carrying his tailored games logo sign around and hanging it in this cafe that looked like a you know a fake Starbucks and To so when he was on zoom calls, it looked like he was in his office
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (07:38.445)
And the baristas got tired of it and like in the middle of a zoom call of with a holiday Wasn't wasn't zoom anyway, but during the holiday family call He got kicked out by the braces and it was it was kind of funny. It was clearly I Thought yeah, that was fun plot. Yeah
I thought it was really weird that at the end of the movie, where we find out that one of the kids is the guy he actually pitched the company to. And he's like, any chance, sorry, one of the kids in the play, my brain's still foggy. I understand. One of the kids in the Christmas pageants, father, is the same guy that Taylor had pitched his game he developed to at the beginning of the movie. And he's like, hey, any chance you'll reconsider? And I'm like, well, here we go. This is where his plot.
comes through in this movie and he says no. I was like, well, that's weird. So Taylor's still a loser at the end of this. That's not something that happens in Hallmark movies. Yeah, and plus they said they'd buy the game from him, but he goes, no, I still want rights. Yeah. Yeah. That's how business works. And it's like, are you just going to make the one game? Right, honestly. To sell someone. Anyways, and then let's talk about
So the three brothers and their mom, I didn't get her name, I just wrote down mom. Mom. And she introduces them to her new boyfriend, Roy. Chemistry-o-meter, I give them a two, because we did not see them do anything sweet or touch or hold hands. They had one kiss. Did they? I believe there was one kiss. I don't No, I don't remember now. Or I'm just picturing them kiss. This is kind of like a trigger warning, meeting the mom in her home.
Like when you become an empty nester, basically the amount that you hoard in your very large home. I love a good crafting room. Don't get me wrong. I love a good hobby room. Yes. But is your hobby your son's old room? And then you just throw your hobby on top of it of just throwing quilts and textiles and other materials just threw out and it's just.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (09:54.269)
Ugh. And then your other son's room. These are very large rooms. This is clearly like a 4'3 or a 4'4. It's a big home. And then the other son's room is just filled with holiday decor boxes. And the other one that has a small room is it's a pristine room. So the three kids decide to stay with mom for their well I was just talking about their rooms. And they're discovering what mom has done with their bedrooms.
It was, I did. Mom's a hoarder. Mom's a hoarder. And of course does a good job hiding it by closing the doors. Don't go in the room.
Mom's a hoarder, first of eviction. so we didn't talk about the eviction. So Taylor, when he was getting kicked out of the coffee shop, was also being evicted from his like hotel room that he has been staying month to month. And it seemed like like an extended stay. So whenever everyone was meeting for like a pre Christmas dinner or something like that, maybe it's their monthly dinners.
That's when mom introduced the boyfriend, Roy, who they've been together for six months and one of the brothers passes out, Stefan, passes out because he's so shocked by the news. And then all of a sudden, what is his name? your hand. Taylor, I don't remember their names. Taylor's like, we should move in for five days and have a Christmas together because he's evicted and he has a place to stay.
I wonder if he had anything like in that apartment. He must have had something. Taylor takes Carol to a, on their first date, like a Dave and Busters. Like a Dave and Busters and they have an adorable dance battle. Well, first of all, we did not discuss precisely how they met.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (11:55.357)
So forgot the plot. The plot was when the Brothers World on Zoom call with the mom, the one Luke who has the son and the wife went off to a work conference. He potentially the new chief of the fire station can't get his shit together and forgot the cookies that he was supposed to bring for the kids performance rehearsal, Christmas performance rehearsal at the school.
So we asked one of other brothers to like go and stop by and pick him up anyway. So one of them brought cookies to the nephew's rehearsal and it ended up being store-bought cookies that had peanuts in them, which is a no-no in these public schools with everyone's allergies these days. adults ever get allergic to peanuts? It potentially could Or do the kids die out by the time they become adults? We, they potentially could grow out.
death could have been a consequence of these allergic reactions or something, but some supposedly grow out of it or it's a less severity. Anyway, so and then the other, another brother comes in, another uncle, two of them needed to deliver cookies, comes in and I don't even know how, but somehow...
creates a catastrophe by knocking over all the set production that this one parent teacher put together of a fake Whoville, a Whatville is what they're called because they didn't get their copyrights to it. so paint goes everywhere, glitter goes everywhere, all the sets are messed up and now he walks out and is like, we're no longer doing this production, you two can handle it. And then they get called in by the principal the next day.
And they're having to redo the production of this Christmas pageant. Now, I don't have kids. We don't have kids. We don't have kids. I don't have kids either. We have three puppies. What is the point in making your kids do some type of like Christmas pageant? Wouldn't you rather spend that evening watching professionals do a show?
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (14:07.879)
Understood. We went to a very lovely, I'm probably gonna say the name incorrect, Vince Guiardis. Guraldi. Guraldi's, thank you so much for that correction, performance on Saturday at the Palladium. And it was delicious. Loved it. Wonderful. I do not care to see children.
I was gonna say, I almost said like not professionals, because I'm like, well, you know, I love good community theater. Like I'm not here to hear off pitch stuff, you know, I'm just not, that doesn't give me the cozies. I want it right and I want to feel nostalgia when I hear the peanuts. It's not like in schools.
So like, this kind of goes back to what I said before. I don't, I don't know, again, no kids. But like when you praise them for something that's not that impressive, like this little kid had his one line and he's like, and Christmas was saved. And they're like, wow, kid, you did so good. I'm okay with that. Just saying one line is not so good.
Well, I'm not saying he deserves an award, but we can praise for regular things just like quitting's okay. Like these things are okay. It's okay to still praise. I praise you for things to make you feel good about it. Thank you. That's right. That's what I thought. right. Dance battle laser tag.
What are they doing wrong? I don't know what I What are they doing wrong? okay. some of the things... So they need to decorate the mom's home for Christmas. And so the boys were going to be decorating.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (16:00.801)
and all of a sudden, you know, they're like, let's go Christmas tree shopping. And mom's like, yeah, let's do that. Cause they do it every year apparently. And Roy, the boyfriend just waltzes on in with this. sorry, I gotta add up on that. Cause this something that's been consistent in Hallmark movies where people are getting their tree like three, four days before Christmas. Is that normal? I don't know. I know my father would like refuse to put up the tree before December 1st and...
But I'm like, ugh. But then they keep it up till February 14th and beyond, It just seems so late to be getting a treat. I agree. And it's not like they're taking it down. And it's a live treat. And then first of all, so here's my pet peeve because they got a live treat. They didn't get a beautiful balsam hill that they could use every year. Balsam Hill did get shouted out multiple times in this movie. Multiple times because they were like a donor at the charity event and it was beautiful. So they got a live tree.
A live tree should not be just put up instantly. You need to take that little man, that little tree outside and let it just rest for a day or two in a big bucket of water and just let it be soaking up and let its branches fall down. Cause I'm sure it's been packaged up and then bringing it on side in a nice tree stand with water and fluff it up. Who is just bringing the tree in willy nilly?
without prepping it. And they didn't even cut the bottom of it to like nicely fit inside the stand. it was not well done, Roy. And he calls himself like the Christmas King because he's a pastor. Don't touch my tanum bombs.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (17:49.805)
I don't know if the microphone picked that up. I just whispered, don't touch my tan and bombs. liked that. So one thing I did really like about the movie and a directorial choice was when the three brothers have a heart to heart inside of a car. Like they're about to leave mom's house. get in the car. I don't know why it's one car for all three kids, but.
It was just beautifully lit, the way that the camera was moving from person to person. It had some shots. I thought it was very well organized. And especially for Hallmark movies where everyone is usually just standing next to each other, there was a lot more drama and dynamism in that. So props for that. I didn't actually give numbers to this, but writing, I said I liked the banter, but the plot was boring as hell to me. So I'm giving that five. Wow. Acting, same. thought,
Taylor was great
I didn't really care for any of other actors. I'll give that a four. Directing, I'm gonna do six just because I really liked that scene in the car. Jesus, okay, wow. something I have a question again, childless. I am a female. I grew up in all female household with, well, my father. as a female. My bad, my bad. Thank you so much. I identify as a female. And I have all my sisters. And so there's five of us. No boys except for the dad.
Do moms wish for their sons to act like this mom does to them? Like the way she's just, the way these sons, like mom, we're here to protect you. You we only want you to have the best. Like, we cherish her so much. Like, it's creepy. It's just, and she's like, boys, fuck me eyes for your mom.
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (19:38.189)
is what it was and I just, find that not something I desire. wonder if the mom was in the first movie. I'm sure she was. I don't know, it was just, you know, people have different relationships with their parents and I guess I just can't relate. Yeah. So I'm like, no, I'm not protecting you. mean, step one, grow up in a nice house in a nice town. Honestly, yeah. Well, that was three wiser men and a.
Boy. Only the dumbest title of all the Christmas movies. I mean, it's not worth your time in my opinion. No. Skip it. Skip it. My numbers are too high. Skip for Rooney. Thank you. I'm like, right. Writing, I'm doing four. Acting, four. Directing, five. OK. And now, like, I got to compare those numbers what I did for the movie that I keep thinking about again, which was Five Year Christmas Party.
Where is this? Holiday Crashers. There's a weekend after that. Holiday Crashers? Scouting for Christmas? going, keep going. Operation Nutcracker. You're not in order. Christmas Sherrod. no.
Five year Christmas, here we are. that I did writing eight, acting seven, directing seven. Okay. It is higher. But still. of breathing room. Those were some pretty high numbers. When you give something over fours and you didn't like it, I'm like, excuse me. You're right, you're right, you're right. I guess was someone liked it. I gotta remember that I'm rating it based on my opinion, not based on trying to be objective, so.
Understand it was an objectively boring movie. It an objectively boring movie. Anyway, I think it is a nap time for me Yeah, well, we fall asleep to the next Hallmark movie. It better be good. Hopefully it's good Well, let us know your thoughts. It's where in the doldrums They put the garbage ones close to Thanksgiving if there was something about three wiser men and a boy Let us know what drew you or what didn't you like it? Yeah, please comment Send an email to Nick
Chain Assembly (Nick Ribera) (21:46.4)
at ChainAssembly.com and I will read your email on the air. we'll call you out in good ways unless you don't want to be. Then let us know. We can have an anonymous. I know that feeling. Well everyone, are we wrapping it up now? Yeah, we're wrapping it up like a present. yeah, wrap it up, put a bow on it, pop it out. Alright, thank you everyone. Bye.
