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Keywords
Christmas, Hallmark, movie review, Confessions of a Christmas Letter, holiday films, character analysis, plot review, romantic comedy, family dynamics, engagement anniversary
Keywords
Christmas, Hallmark, movie review, Confessions of a Christmas Letter, holiday films, character analysis, plot review, romantic comedy, family dynamics, engagement anniversary
Nick And Leslie (00:02.67)
That didn't work. Welcome to episode... Hi. Lost count. 17. I'm numbering all the files, so I think this is 17. Confessions of a Christmas Letter, which premiered on... Sunday. November 17th. Yes. Happy Engagement Anniversary. Happy Engagement Anniversary. Yeah. Was that on our calendar, or you just remember? I remember.
Nick And Leslie (00:34.03)
So the concert was a Monday? That's not how time works, nevermind. Every year we go through this, the engagement. I track our going steady anniversary. Which she's still incorrect, but it's okay. we have to drink that anniversary beer. So, Confessions of a Christmas Letter. Yeah, this is dog shit. Never have I wanted to turn off the movie so much. We did almost do it. We paused, we took a minute.
We had to decide whether or not we owe it to the fans to finish this movie, whether they exist or not. Nick can't not finish something. I said we don't have to do it. You're the one who's like, no, let's keep going. OK, we'll say that to when you watch the TV show Catherine. TV show Catherine? The Great. Yeah. No, not The Great. Sorry, I Catherine the Great. Yeah, about, yeah, but not The Great.
Yeah, that's a different show. thought we finished it though and just hated it. No, we both hated it. And I said, this is no longer worth my time. And you finished it. I think I walked in on you watching it. I'm like, you're watching it. You're like, I can't not finish it. Okay. Well with this. But yes, I didn't make the, I'm like, let's just watch it begrudgingly. Don't watch it. It was first of all, I did try to watch it on my own on Sunday while Nick was on his way back from Jacksonville. And I got like,
18 minutes in and then we were on the phone for 15 minutes. So I was like, well, I've already, I'm this far back and like on Peacock, I can't pause once live streaming, but I was already confused in the first seven minutes. And I'm like, I had my eyes on the TV. I was paying attention and it just went so fast. So jarbled together. I feel like homework movies in general always start with
A fistful of plot in the first two minutes. And yeah, we get it. We pay attention. It's always like, okay, here's a character. Here's their best friend. Best friend is going to narrate how the main character feels and all of her backstory to her so that we get all this set up in dialogue in the first two minutes of a movie. So if you miss that, you're lost. But it's not even necessarily also about the dialogue. It's about the three to four signs that are shown. If you did not read that quick enough, about the Holly Hills, Wall of Fame and
Nick And Leslie (02:54.2)
holiday, here's the dates, which it said the dates. I didn't even get the dates. So we didn't know like all of sudden there's someone here for two weeks. It was way too much. it's a whole lot of people at the post office talking over each other. And I even told Nick and I said, so I tried watching it. It could have just been me. You know, I can't always make it through a live stream hallmark because I fall asleep at like 8 50. So I said, we just really have to pay attention.
again or it's just me. then, but no, he was like, this was so convoluted. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't know that the two women behind her were friends. We just thought there were random people in line that were helping her. And then you kind of figure out that they're friends or, or neighbor. I have no idea. And then is Holly Hills an HOA with its own USPS? That's a good question. And then it's got like the most amazing event center, rec center or whatever. And also you, if it's USPS and she can't have her a lot. What?
clubhouse. was another building. yeah. Well, yeah, we're kind of if it's an HOA or if it's a house. There was a club center, mean a clubhouse, but then there she mentioned about the recreational center later. I remember about the pottery class. So what is this? Were they trying to make a hall at the Holly and just failed? mean, Balsam Hill was there. Everything was decorated and it was, that was the only kind of nice thing to look at, but still not quite my style, but everything was decorated.
I felt like they were trying to do a movie that is like, we're going to make it like, haul out the Holly with a whole bunch of kooky characters. and we have recognizable faces too. Yeah. We're going to try and make it like a modern family, the way that everyone's got their weird scheming going on and confessionals and stuff. no, they, other places, but how necessary, like the, the brother, my gosh, Jake.
and Bradley, his husband, they weren't hiding anything. They just didn't want to be in the letter. So I understand kind of what you were saying in the modern family of how maybe it's a younger daughter that's not married yet and then there's a gay son brother. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like the feeling, the drive, everyone having weird schemes, not like the family dynamic matches modern families.
Nick And Leslie (05:17.514)
Okay, but in modern family, there's not other neighbors that are no, it's more like, I'm talking about how start with one lie becomes 10 lies becomes bigger lies. And then everyone has to scheme to keep the lie going. okay. I'm like, that's more like desperate housewives. I never saw that. Well, anyway, that's to me, that's nothing of modern family.
But it was exhausting. was lit badly. was also lit badly. Making everyone look a little older in each scene. The hair was nice. The hair was nice. The clothes were up and down. Yeah, they were okay. And then so the star of our movie is Angela Kinsey from The Office. Whose name is Seddy. Yeah, I really liked the name Seddy Rose. And that the man's name was Patty. Her husband. it was cute.
And I kind of felt like once she got cast as the starring role, they should have made some tweaks to the script, such as commenting on the fact that she's three feet shorter than everyone else in the movie. Three feet shorter. my goodness. I feel sorry for the director of photography. shows up on set and he's like, how do I frame this? And the love interest that comes into play who will get into.
He himself is tall, it's like, let's cast everyone else around him to be his height, because why? Why? It's not like they were in more scenes than the other. It was so tall. Maybe they wanted the female love interest, her daughter, to be the same height as him. Okay. My goodness. She was so short-setting. don't... Anyway. So it's the most convoluted plot. Yes. So...
There's a competition every year for who has the most interesting or who has the best Christmas letter. Now, I don't know what a Christmas... before this movie, I didn't know what a Christmas letter was. I was extra lost. does. I read them to him, the ones that we received from my family. Well, I didn't know that was like a thing worth competing over.
Nick And Leslie (07:27.63)
Does your culture do it? mean, white Americans do it. Sound off in the comments below. Sound off in the comments below. And if so, let's see your draft. Let's read it on here. So we are not people to send out a story of recapping our lives to our people. I mean, you want to know we had a hurricane, we got a car totaled, we got new cabinets put in.
Other rent, I broke some bones. don't know what you want to know. We don't want to air out our business, our stuff. No, I, mean, if anything, that's kind of what I do on my emailing list for my business. Follow us on social media. You'll always be up to date. But so it's this thing for this town every year they have a, a Christmas letter competition to see who writes the best Christmas letter.
in either the HOA or the town. So it seems kind of fucked up. That like the 20th anniversary. yeah. It seems kind of fucked up that it's like, I know the movie makes a point of saying it's about like the quality of the writing, but to make this a competition really kind of shits on people who had a bad year. not interesting year. well yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I see what you're saying. Yeah. And it also, it's like,
I mean, know that, guess with the Christmas letter, you're telling people publicly what your family's been through, but then also to have it like hanging at the post office? Yes. So the, it's the 20th anniversary. The winner each year gets to be on the Holly Hills wall of fame with their letter. You know, so apparently also this letter that goes out is going out to everyone. Maybe it's a minimum, maybe it's a
every door direct mailer that you have to do instead of just to your own friends and family. So get ready to print 500 either for the town or for the HOA. I'm very curious to know if there's a town that actually does this. If this is based on a real thing. Let's, I know, right. So the winner each is Sue Taylor, who is the next door neighbor of Setti and Patty. Best actress in the movie. She was a good actress. And she played a, you know, the annoying Karen neighbor who is like,
Nick And Leslie (09:51.896)
Doesn't even sound like she's the HOA president, but that she called herself the honorary mayor, the honorary mayor and then of holly hills. Sorry. An official mayor. So again, is that you are on the board, but you are not the president of the HOA board. Right. Exactly. And, she was like the PTA president.
Nick And Leslie (10:21.432)
Jesus, when she jumped the ramp.
Your fridge is so full.
Nick And Leslie (10:32.302)
they're picking up debris somewhere. And it was, I don't know, Bob, whatever caterpillar thingy. And we're back. Noises from the neighborhood picking up hurricane debris. Hurricane debris. Yeah. That's what we went through. Yeah. Okay. so Sue Taylor is someone that will enter your house, your private residence on her own, if it's not locked and just barged in all the time.
So if you don't lock the door, judge what you're wearing. She'll judge what you're doing. She'll tell you what you can and can't put on your front You have to hide your own decor from her. Yeah. So she'll allow certain. That really should have been the plot. That's yes. She should have gotten shot in the beginning of the movie. And then the rest of it is like the, a law room You should take that out. Okay. Okay. Let's, let's kind of, she should have been charged with breaking and entering without permission somehow. Like,
like I have to have a sign of private property in order to get you to understand why is that not under a coaster? We didn't spend hundreds of dollars refinishing this table for you to not just use the coaster. He was complaining last night that there were no coasters on the coffee table because they were on the dining room table. Now everyone's gonna wonder why I'm wearing a sweater and shorts.
Because it's a little chilly in the house. We put the AC down Anyway, so Sue's is a right true cunt. my goodness. Gosh. I RTC I an RTC I just I Would probably be chucking some dog poop over her fence like no It's a back to our plot. So SETI decides to hire
her favorite author because she never wins the writing competition to ghost write this letter for her. And as part of this, she's like, I'm going to pay him to live with us for two weeks, two weeks to learn what our family's like, what we have been up to so that he can write the best letter. And so then smash cut to the author who is a very handsome 32 year old. Yeah. 32 something like that living in Puerto Rico. It's a beautiful house that they zoom in on.
Nick And Leslie (12:57.838)
all Mexican decorated house in Puerto Rico? I've never been to Puerto Rico, unfortunately. I would love to go. So I can't attest to that. I've been to Mexico, so it did look like something we definitely would have seen in Mexico City or Oaxaca. I've been to Puerto Rico, and it looks just like Miami. I do not like Miami whatsoever. Yeah, it's Miami with hills and mountains. But it's a beautiful house that they show.
And that is where we meet Juan? Juan? Yeah, Juan. Okay, Juan. my gosh. Along with his abuelo and Tio. So, which is his grandfather and uncle. So the three men live together and it seems like the two older men are mooching off of their nephew whose son, whose parents have died years ago. We don't know if they are independently wealthy.
But they don't work. the author, Juan, has a book deal with some publisher and he needs to write a second book. And the Tio makes a comment of, we've already spent the advance and we need the money. Or this is extra money. And if you've listened to my podcast with publishers, my earlier podcast episodes with publishers, advances aren't really a thing unless you're like Stephen King.
Right, so we have no idea how many books he's written. Just the one. He made a comment about how like the second book is always the hardest. But what if that's like the second series, his third series and that's the second one? No, they're talking about how he doesn't want to have just been known for writing one good book. he said that? Yeah. Okay, see it's hard to pay attention when you don't care. Yeah. And so he, I guess it was the uncle who got the letter or phone call or whatever.
I think it was a letter from It was a DM on like hub grub. It was hub something. okay. Like grab hub. Okay. And, he was making an Instagram post. okay. Whenever, whenever Juan said, do not show anything about me on, on social media. And yet here they are posting about him. When someone says no, no is a sentence. Yes.
Nick And Leslie (15:24.248)
So we don't know how much she's paying him. Right. my goodness, that's the longest hair that just came out of your beard. was fuzz. No, we have no idea, they are taking, SETI is taking the money out of their emergency fund. Yeah. Why do they need to say that? Yeah. We also don't know what she does for a living or what the husband does for a living. Exactly. They have time to decorate though. But
I don't think we needed that as well as like we need the advance. I don't know. It was where we spent the advance. So then we come to find out Setti is friends with these two women, which I did not get their names. I'm happy they weren't white.
mixing it up, thank you for not having us do a white Christmas. So these two friends, they're also writing letters. One, retired early, and so she's trying to figure out retirement life and learning about loving her husband again. And she looks like she's maybe like 52. Correct, so she retired very early, young, know, good for her. As well as the other friend who's a little bit younger, or it looks like, again, we think they're neighbors, hard to say, we only saw them at the post office and the club, no, they were at the book club.
and sometime they were playing Christmas bingo. And the young one is writing about her experience of online dating. So we do get a couple of scenes of those two, know, like B-roll footage over there retyping out their letter out loud. it's like... it's weird you would cover your online dating experience in your Christmas letter. Again, Christmas letters are weird, but there are...
TikTok influencers and pages that discuss about their online dating experiences. I mean, some people do enjoy it. Some people don't like hearing about, you know, experiences in healthcare. Other want to hear it. So, you just want to find the juiciest thing. Okay. So apparently, so one goes up to Holly Hills. Yeah. Holly Hills.
Nick And Leslie (17:34.554)
and gets shitty coffee and burnt cinnamon rolls from the crazy grandmother. it's at the, leaving the airport that he shares an Uber with, yeah, Lily, which is Setti's daughter. Setti and Patty's daughter. So they did a joint Uber, or Uber pool. And they just happened to both be dropped off at the same house. And she, so he's in the car first, like in
is aware it's part of an uber pool basically and she's coming in hot, throws flowers in a bag at a stranger.
Nick And Leslie (18:15.95)
Very Angela Kinsey energy. They were kind of playing off each other. don't know. Yeah, so... Seti and Lily. Yeah, the mom and the daughter. okay. Well, I didn't understand your reference, so I didn't know. well, Seti is the mom. I know, but we were... but I was talking about Juan and Lily's interaction. sorry. was saying how inappropriate that is. Yes, I was saying Lily has similar energy to Seti. Okay.
But who were you referencing comparing to like a who? I said Angela Kinsey. I don't know who that is. okay. Okay. I don't know. I didn't, I unfortunately didn't watch The Office. I do enjoy the episodes I have seen, but I don't know every one of who is who. yeah. Anyway, she was rude. She was also a cunt. Mother like daughter. It was ridiculous.
And so it's funny, before she showed up, I was trying to figure out where is the romantic subplot gonna be? Because Angela is 20, maybe 30 years the senior of Juan. She's also married. And I'm like, we have a handsome young guy being pulled into this movie. Who is he gonna end up flirting with? And that's when Lily shows up and I'm like, okay, there we go. apparently has been in Italy at an acting thing just...
yeah, cause everyone goes to Italy for acting classes and that's study set her up to go to Italy for acting classes. and she's surprising her parents by coming back a few days later than expected. How is that a surprise? You're just causing a clusterfuck. You're just a trigger warning on this episode. We should start that as trigger warning because full of anxiety.
everyone just continuously lies and goes with the lie. So you're just piling it up and you're gonna have to realize and grow up. I just, it's so frustrating. You're adults. So it's around this point that Sue barges in. And you're forced to do all the activities that you were not wanting So Sue barges in and because they don't want anyone to know that they have a Hispanic friend, they have to pretend that he's instead the fiance. they also all think he's Italian. Yeah.
Nick And Leslie (20:26.958)
So they're pretending he's an Italian fiance. I don't even think they ever said Puerto Rican or anything. Well, we also don't know if they they must. He must be Puerto Rican if they're living in. I did appreciate that there are scenes where the family was speaking Spanish and there were subtitles on the screen. but then they quickly switch back to English. And I'm like, OK, that doesn't make sense. I appreciate slow Spanish.
Anyway, he has Juan has to do all these family activities so he can get a sense of the family Also, everyone has to do these activities to be the perfect to have the perfect Christmas for mom Mm-hmm who mom is causing all the issue and just continually lies. Yes. She's wasting the family wasting the family savings wasting the family under False pretenses. No, I don't know if it was fully it sound like he explained it but maybe the
The T.O. didn't explain it well enough. okay. So, just to get him to go. They didn't even have names, they were just T.O. and Abuela. Abuelo. Abuelo, sorry. Right, Carlos?
Nick And Leslie (21:34.99)
Yeah. So then we're supposed thought he said T.O. Carlos, but now I remember. So the first romantic moment between Juan and Lily is when they're making a gingerbread house together. And it was the worst chemistry. Horrendous. Yes. This movie is getting a two on the chemistry-o-meter. I just, it's ugh. It's not even worth it. It's frustrating. It was frustrating because she's trying to build this gingerbread house and she's just putting random stuff together. And he's like, hey, slow down. You know when you get partnered up in a group-
when you were in school to do work and you're like, shit, I'm with that person. I'm doing all the work. That is her. That is her, her entire life. That is her energy and I cannot take it. That is the energy of someone who has grown up with the safety.
Nick And Leslie (22:21.11)
Yes. Am I jealous maybe? And then out of nowhere she's like, look, thanks to the way you told me how to do it, I made this gorgeous gingerbread mansion. Gorgeous. And it was only a little lopsided, which was clearly on purpose. But the way they were putting these three pieces together was no type of configuration we saw on the gingerbread house when it was completed. So they were just gluing and finger fucking everywhere on this gingerbread house.
and so yeah, the next romantic moment a bit later on is when she's like, hey, can you help me Lily says one? Can you help me on my audition? help me run this scene for this audition doing for play and So she's like, okay. She does the first line. He does the next line. She does another line, but he just No, you didn't say the part of he said
Or she goes, I do it one more time? And he's like, we've already done it four times. And so was like, okay, so then you run the line and then kiss. That's what I'm like, so you kissed four times and you were surprised he kissed you? Yeah, I was like. It was weird. Also a not very hot kiss. No, poorly lit. They made her look old the way that the lighting was causing shadows on her. So the brother who is Jake and married to Bradley, and that just happened,
Jake said, I don't want to be in the new, in the Christmas newsletter, letter, whatever it's called, because the mom's always lying about what he's lying about what everyone's doing. And then he has to go and like fix whatever, you know, she said, or do whatever she said. So it doesn't look like a lie. That's exhausting. Also, brought in the subplot of him having him doing community service for some reason. because they were on their honeymoon and there was miscommunication between
the honey when they were on their month long honeymoon and the landscaper. So the landscaper didn't come. So that was part of his, getting out of HOA jail was doing yard maintenance, pick up trash for something. No, he wasn't arrested. Yeah. So like, that's why this is also confusing is Holly Hills and HOA. also when Sue barged in, they covered him cause they didn't want
Nick And Leslie (24:41.728)
to her to know that he was wearing a vest. Yeah, so maybe she doesn't know about these little things, but you, she would if it's so like. It's both just head and hands. Anyway, so Jake goes, mom, keep us out of this. We don't want in it. We're really tired of you lying and having to fix it. Although he did make a very cute, abstract snowman. Yes. I did like that actually. Yes. So, mom said, fine. Okay.
And then in the end he, he like wants to be in the letter or whatever, but like, why are we lying? It's so, can we make, I understand like a miscommunication thing. excuse me. She didn't stay long enough to hear that she is, or that the man is really in love with her and he wasn't faking it. Like, okay. I mean, even though he should have, this is the previous, jingle bell run.
but just continuous lies to a mass group of people that you're going to continuously be around in. You have to remember that.
So, she's so pin up on the perfect Christmas and I hate it. It's exhausting. And again, that's why people try to set boundaries and she doesn't want to respect boundaries. In my opinion, she wants just to have the perfect Christmas, but I get it. She comes around in the end of her, but it's it's main character syndrome. Everyone is there just to serve her needs. Yes. And it's not charming. It's not charming whatsoever. The villain of the story. She is the villain. I'm on SUSE.
Sue's also a villain of the story. But at least she follows the rules. I don't know and doesn't lie. Lily's also wait, Sue did lie. The main twist of the plot was that Sue's husband writes it all the time. And I told Nick and I said, if you were writing some type of competition thing or whatever, and it was obviously a great job, why am I taking credit over it when he did it in the same household? I'm reaping the benefits of the reward no matter what, right? Yeah. So why not? Yeah.
Nick And Leslie (26:48.814)
This man did it. Like praise, praise you. Good job. giving me hypothetical praise. Yeah. So writing, I give this a two out of 10 acting four out of 10 directing three out of 10 acting. I only, I would have gone lower, but Sue was pretty good. She gave us a point directing three again. as the bad lighting, the very confusing scenes, the dialogue happening too fast while there's signs and stuff in the background.
And chemistry a meter too. Yeah, I didn't enjoy anyone spending any time with anyone in this movie. No, no, don't waste your time. But waste your time listening to this review. Because it's not worth your time. This movie.
So on that note, do you input in the top half or bottom half? bottom. I'm glad you're saying that because I feel like the last five reviews you said top half. So I'm like, how big is this top half now? I know. That's why I had to slow down on the top five, top tens. Yeah. You threw me off of that. This is like, this is bottom, number one bottom.
All right, well, on that note, goodbye and see you guys next week for the next three movies. Happy holidays. holidays.
