You are being lied to by someone you trust. You are being gaslit and as you ignore your intuition it is beginning to grow in you like a cancer. Cut out the disease by being honest to yourself and to the one who is hurting you.
You may be unaware of it, but you are lying to someone you trust. You need to be clear about your intentions before the damage you are causing becomes permanent and hurts you too.
About the Art:
I remember one of the producers behind The Game of Thrones saying that they wanted to poisoning of Joffrey to be as violent as possible. I wanted a similar image but didn't want it to be as spot on as that exact scene. I then decided to use an image of Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in the film "Monster" as the reference.